I truly am sick of 'they' telling us what we should be.
I believe this all stems from the feminist revolution, where a minority of women have pretended to represent all women. 'They' have told the world that women are equal to men, that women can do the exact same roles as men, that women should get equal pay, that women can give birth to tiny humans, return to work within months, run a house, organise everyone in that house. Put ourselves bottom of the pecking order within the hierarchy of that house. Go through the menstrual cycle every month, where hormones are everywhere, then spend years dealing with menopause and end up with hardly any hormones! Women then have to pretend that they are holding their shit together day in day out, when in actual fact the struggle of pretending to be the ultimate strong woman in the competition of best feminist is drowning them.
We need 'Menists'
I mean it wouldn't be so bad if there were a group of 'Menists' who championed men being able to do it all. Where the competition amongst men was to be able to handle the juggle of full time work, house work, organising childcare, transport for after school activities, emotionally support the little ones, arrange play dates, buy clothes and school uniform. Plan the meals for the week and shop accordingly. If only mens competitions were far more than wrestling around in mud chasing an egg shaped ball or rolling around pretending to be in pain whilst earning more in that minute than a woman does in an hour, or the competition of drinking a pint of alcohol before anyone else. I mean imagine if mens competitions were the same as what a woman perceives she has to compete with to be the best!?
Not to criticise the men who do step up
Please appreciate that I am not having a dig at men not doing this, just the point that other men don't expect this of each other. Men are rather accepting of their capabilities and provide no competition of who can juggle the most and still look like the a model from the 1990's Levis advert. Because of the dynamic of my own household, my hubby does quite a lot - although has no sense of reality to how much I do. I often think i should go on strike, however within weeks I would be on speed dial to Stacey Solomon to come and sort my life out! And i couldn't possibly imagine my husband going into school crying to the teachers that i took it personally when i had a message that Marnie had a rash on her hands (cold weather hand washing rash) and that she didn't wear a cardigan. I mean give me a break, I leave for work at 6.45am and get back at 6pm. Whilst I wasn't a full time working mum in the 90s, I do miss the inspiration of the young girls working hard and being ok with not everyone being the same.
Where has girl power gone?
I was at the perfect age when girl power arrived. A young girl with a strong mind, I was completely empowered by the influence of a group of girls who had worked hard to break through, no matter what stood in their way, they had each other to get to where they wanted to be, showing young girls that anything was possible if you put your mind to it. Not once was any of this expected from all girls, in fact they embraced girl power to be the power provided to all girls and women to be content with whatever they were and wanted to be. With the explosion of social media, this is what has had a massive impact on girl power and the way that the influence is perceived.
Just today I saw a post from Julia Roberts where a few weeks ago she had posted a picture on social media of her and her niece playing cards. Julia was overwhelmed by the negative comments and the inhouse arguments that ensued from all the people people having their five pennies worth. Totally missing the point of such a beautiful relaxed photo.
We have encouraged a culture of trampling over anyone to get to the top.
This really isn't feminism at all, this is feminist sectarianism - conflict between women because of the ideology of a minority of women. Its not representative of the majority, yet we all think we should be part of it! Although there is beginning to be signs of a shift to this way of thinking - albeit a very small shift, where women are being encouraged to lift each other and support one another in being happy with however they choose to live. The slow demise of the reality shows where all women have pert breasts, plumped up lips, a facefull of makeup and tiny waists, is now giving way to the true reality of life. Although I am concerned with the rise in the new cult of - 'You need to be coached to be the best version of you' pay to come to my my workshop to watch a powerpoint about coaching others to believe the same as the rest of us. What utter bullshit. Its just a 21st century version of the WI where someone has monetised it and is convincing others they can make £5k months if they do the same. Its an up to date con from the 90's where if you send £20 in the post to the person that sent you the letter, then you will receive thousands from all the letters you send! Remember that one, and pausing for a second believing it then waking up! Yes this shite is exactly the same! You give me money then get others to give you money whilst making everyone believe they are amazing. You shouldn't have to pay for that!
Why are we paying for meeting with like minded people?
Why? If you are lost, start a community and share your knowledge. It will be far more rewarding to see people flourish from sharing the same outlook on life as you, rather than seeing pound signs. If your looking to monetise being a good person and justifying what you do, you are doing it all for the wrong reason. We need to go back to the social groups within our communities, the WI, choirs, pudding clubs, book clubs, gardening clubs. To be content with life you have to be amongst those that share the same outlook as you, the same values and morals. Whilst the push towards believing in the universe and manifesting your life can feel a little overwhelming, take a moment to think about it...... do what your gut tells you, listen to the butterflies within when something isn't right, believe that you are exactly where you are meant to be at this precise moment in time, believe that your dreams will come true. Self belief is all the empowerment any body needs, regardless of what gender you are. The only way to stop 'they' bullying us to conformoning is to be comfortable in our own skin and not wanting to conform.
Be you - out of 8 billion people on the planet there is only one of you.
What an extraordinary feeling that is, why then would you want to be like anyone else?
Love Gianna x
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