So........ my daughter is all grown up now..( I drafted this post 3 years ago, and finally after procrastinating, listening to my subconscious mind telling me not to, I have finally typed the post) at 21 Emmi is in her final year of Uni. Whilst enjoying a 5km run (slog!) it gave us the perfect opportunity for some deep - if not out of breath - conversations. Mainly centered around how we shared the enjoyment of watching Bridgerton.
Can girls sleep with who ever and however many people without being labeled a slag or a slut?
For me growing up, I had a name for myself. Many of my peers believed me to be a 'slag'. I was confident and self assured, I thrived on the attention my label gave me. However what gave me the power to be that way was the fact it wasn't true. I wasn't who people thought I was. I didn't sleep with every boy I went out with. I was selective, sometimes making the wrong selection, but that's how we learn.
Looking back, I didn't deserve my 'label', although I relished adding fuel to the fire!
Emmi on the other hand feels it is unfair that a male who has a long list of conquests is praised by his peers for his behaviour and yet in a time where it is believed (not by me) to be all about equal rights, a female would be slated for such a lengthy list.
My thoughts however are that those males with their lengthy tally will never find true happiness as no one will ever live up to their expectations. Even more so in todays era with girls believing they should all look a certain way, conforming to what they believe males like - plumped up lips, the bubblegum bum, contouring make up, pert boobs. It's all a reality based on a males superficial beliefs on how a female should look. Men experience so many different women that they muddy the waters on what a real women actually is.
Whereas a girl who saves herself will find a male who truly respects her and will never want more. As they grow old together they learn more about each other - what works, what doesn't, they will love how the other one looks and want what is best for them. The players of the world that have so much experience think they know it all, they will never have room for improvement and high expectations of what a partner should be like.
I am hoping that the Bridgerton series brings a shift in society in that
Females deserve respect for remaining conservative.
In my experience - both personally and in work is that a lot of the promiscuity that comes from being a teenage girl is of course provado - certainly from reading my journal from 1995, I definitely did not get up what I wrote about back then. Working in a school I can sense which girls are who. Those that crave the attention, those that do not and those who get it all without trying.
I am not saying we should return to how things were years ago in that we hold on to our virginity until we find 'the one'. But we should hold on to our dignity and pride if we are to find a man who will treat us with the respect we deserve.
Its amusing how my daughter disagrees so strongly
Even when I highlighted to her those of her school friends who will end up finding the right partner because they don't wish to conform to how society thinks they should look, posting non-filtered photos of themselves, happy and content with how they are. Then there are those that will end up with a string of failed relationships - all photos filtered, hair, make up and clothes all adhering to the latest trends. Socially I hope we are now coming out of the 'reality show' fueled life that we have been thrusted into thanks to the likes of the Kardashians and Love Island.
As in one of the final scenes in series 1 of Bridgerton.
We all have a choice in life....
A touching scene with Daphne and her mother
'Knowing That the two of us made a choice to love
and to do all that we could ...........
You are a Bridgerton, There is nothing you cannot do'
Such a powerful scene, the music sets me off every time.
We as mums should be instilling that in all of our daughters. Empowering them to have the confidence in themselves and that does not need to come from being equal to a man. That should come from inside of us, from dignity, pride, passion and of course love.
We should not have to become a feminist to succeed in life. We should not be comparable to any male, because of course we are from Venus and men are most definitely from Mars.
Love Gianna x
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