Did you see the documentary with Matt and Emma Willis recently regarding the impact of our children's use of mobile phones? It really was a fascinating watch. When put into context we are robbing our children of their childhood. With many parents giving their child a mobile phone at the age of 10/11 thus giving them an unlimited access to a world of information. Giving them the ability to see things not appropriate for their eyes, wanting as many 'streaks' as possible, getting 'likes' for photoshopped photos. Giving them a false sense of reality that they really cannot comprehend.
How old is too young....
Back last year my God daughter was at her local youth with her friends - aged 10 and 11. When an argument started between them all and a phone was damaged. This spilled over into their school time as well. Parents were messaging each other in disgust of how each others child had behaved. It had all stemmed from one of them telling another to go kill themselves! At the age of 10! It cooks my head how this is acceptable.
At work staff are often required to investigate incidents that have occurred on TikTok, or messages that have been sent on snapchat. Like how is this anything to do with the education of a child. Very often they are not even old enough to have the account. Parents complaining that all this bullying is affecting their child's mental health! No love, get a grip, you have given your child this device, you have allowed your child to access apps not age appropriate, how is this the schools problem?
The irony of responsibility.......
Recently I held a parent meeting with some students where we discussed the impact of mobile phones. One parent commented that their child was completely different when their phone had been confiscated. Telling me that family time was lovely as the child was more engaging with them. Another parent said it was not worth the hassle to take away their child's mobile phone as they would kick, scream and cry without it. ( These students were 13/14 years old!)
How are these parents not realising they are creating monsters by allowing their child to have a phone?
Personal experience.....
I have been quite fortunate with my children. The older 3 just missed the toxicity of what was being introduced and none of them ever had issues through social media. I think it may have been because I was quite savvy learning a lot at work and would not allow them to have certain things. With the little 2, Rich and I have already decided they wont be having one. We will be ensuring the life we provide for them is interesting enough that they wont need to search the internet for a dopamine hit. We will also give them enough confidence in themselves to stand up to others and not be bothered by what they think. We will teach them that life is so much more rewarding, sociable and happy without a mobile phone. They do not have to be a slave to a hand held device to be happy.
We have been making a start to that already by banning technology at the dinner table. The only time we take their iPad in the car is when we go on a long car journey, but even then the time is filled with singing and games. There are no electronic devices close to bed time and certainly no devices used on mundane shopping trips. Instead we include them in what we do; I often give the girls tasks to do, can you look for this, hold that, tick this off the list. There is definitely no need to give a child a mobile phone to watch Peppa pig in the supermarket! Get a grip.
What the science says......
With all the scientific research on the mental health of children in recent years, the biggest cause is their access to social media. All the fakeness of reality stars and edited photos promoting hideous lifestyles. Children feeling inadequate. It is a toxic world of bullshit that so many parents support for their children to be part of.
When I was in the police, we would frequently do school talks in both primary and secondary schools, to help educate parents on internet safety. Hardly anyone ever turned up. It was embarrassing, because the parents who were frequently complaining about the child being the victim or he said she said shit would never turn up. They didn't want to hear the truth and were happy yo keep their heads buried in the sand. They were happy to support their child's social media accounts. I often heard that parents felt the outside world was no longer safe and that their could be all sorts of weirdos hanging around the park. When in actual fact they were happy for their child to speak with anyone from around the world on latest console they had in the bedroom - unmonitored! Very often the parents were just as bad, getting embroiled in arguments with other parents through messenger, calling each other out through their face ache account.
Harsh reality.....
What is heartbreakingly sad, is that there is now a group of parents campaigning for better restrictions on social media following their child's death due to a certain craze to try or through taking their own life because of online bullying. Just take a minute to consider that....... children dying from copying a trend they have seen online, children dying from taking their own life due to the cruelness of others, 'go kill yourself' is sadly a frequently used phrase out of the mouths of babes hidden behind a screen. To think all of this can be avoided if the child does not have a mobile phone in the first place, that perhaps we should allow our children to play, run around and learn from their mistakes. Harsh I know, but as parents we should be doing everything in our power to protect our children from the big wide world. This has to now start with banning children under the age of 16 from having a mobile phone, and certainly banning them from schools.
Please give the documentary a watch The school that banned smart phones
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