School Days
This photo was taken on my last day of school consisting of my school friends who had been there for me throughout my five years at secondary school, through heart ache and pain, sports days and performances. We had named ourselves 'The Tribe' the girls who were the sports teams, the open evening helpers, assembly producers and stage performers. We truly embraced our school days and loved every minute of it. Fast forward 25 years and we are still here, celebrating the highs and lows of life.
Whos who....
We began school in 1992 all bringing something unique to our group.
Becky grew up with her dad working abroad, two older siblings and a younger sister. She was the comedian, always laughing and entertaining, with a little bit of stubbornness when it came to standing up for what was right. Beckys birthday sleepovers were the annual event we always looked forward to.
Suzy was adopted, who had difficult teenage years, home life was unique and often fraught i think we became the family that Suzy needed, bringing her compassion and support - she wont mind me saying, but i don't think she would be here now if it wasn't for us keeping her on the straight and narrow a force to be reckoned with - so strong willed a definite fire in her belly to succeed in life.
Laura was the good girl, level headed, calm and organised. She became our head girl setting the example to the rest of us of how we should behave and conduct ourselves (which we didn't always follow!) Laura was the eldest of 4 children so was a natural leader and methodical thinker.
Me - The youngest of us all, I was the rebel of the group, short fused and competative. I was the only one of us who was an only child - so again these girls were the family I needed growing up. I was the fire in the belly of the group. Often distracted by boys mind you, emotionally fused - not sure how they put up with me!
Andrea was the quiet one, with older siblings and a younger sister, she was the caring one, thoughtful and calm. The one we would turn to for the chats - you know the comforting chats, the shoulder to cry on. She certainly has a beautiful soul.
Sue was the grafter. She would walk a mile at 6am to work for 2 hours before catching the bus to school! She could be herself with us, the oldest of two girls and coming from a hardworking family. She would often drop one words into conversations which would make our jaws drop.
The next phase...
We left school and all headed to the local college - accept for Laura who went to a local 6th Form. We all took on lots of different paths in further education and met lots of fab new friends. The passing of our driving tests enabled us to get around the remote rural area we lived in. Driving around late at night listening to Graham Torringtons late night love on the radio! Then January 14th 1998 our world was rocked massively when one of our dearest friends from the year above us died suddenly. 'Braino' had been the childhood sweetheart of Suzy, just days before dying he had declared to me he still loved her and was going to win her back and do it properly this time with flowers and chocolates. Finding out that day something died within us all, i vividly remember virtually collapsing in shock - even writing this with a lump in my throat - we turned a corner that day. Shit got real and we were thrusted into adulthood. Dealing with each others grief was really hard, we suffered a week of numbness before the funeral which was just so surreal, it took days for the atmosphere in college to return to how it was. Braino was a huge character who everybody knew. A pivotal point in our lives that i am not sure we ever came to terms with.
It was then that Suzy changed, looking back i think it was grief that threw her off course, she quit college, moved out into a flat in a local town and stuck two fingers up to the world. I didnt know what to do, Laura had drifted so we didnt have the level head of wisdom to guide us. We just let Suzy do her thing and stood by her. As we moved on to working life and uni we didnt grow apart we were just distant. Still always there for each other just not seeing each other as much.
Life changes
In 2001 I had my eldest daughter, which meant I was the first to buy a house and 2 years later marry. Andrea had met a lad at college who drew her away from us all and we lost touch and sadly missed out on our weddings - Suzy married in 2008, Laura in 2009 and Sue in 2011 ( still waiting for Becky!) which we all attended. All of us having children and now have 15 between us all!!!
When Beckys dad retired and moved back to living in the UK she had a summer gathering which we were invited to, which has since lead to our annual summer catch up where fortunately Andrea came back into our lives, the missing piece for too long. We would catch up every year and reconnect, it really has been life changing for the better. We all just fitted back into our roles that we had at school, lots of laughter and tears, time together was never enough. We are now going through the next stage of life......
Dealing with adulthood
Its funny that we all think we are stuck in a time warp of still being 21 all our lives! When in reality time goes by far too quickly and at some point we ultimately have to grow up and deal with being adult. I remember dreading being 30 and seeing Suzy who assured me that its great to be dirty thirty convinced me that perhaps we could all embrace growing up! But with me divorcing in 2016 it was the beginning of a new start. Laura had begun to drift away, living in Kenilworth she very rarely came back. Then lockdown, then more than ever we needed each other. It was as if the universe throws us together to get through lifes difficult parts of the journey. We began messaging each other regularly, with the odd face time catch up thrown in for good measure, we kept each other going, just as we had in school. Since then we have been making a concerted effort to meet more frequently. Theatre trips and catch ups in Cardiff, drunken evenings in our local town. It has been amazing to be together again. Andrea has recently separated from her husband and has needed us to do our girl thing. To accept without judgement, be there, offer advice and comfort. Its what us girls do!
The world shook for a second time....
Good Friday 2023 a day etched in our history again, just days after all being out together i had a message from Becky - 'Can I call you'. I knew then this was going to be a life changing call for all of us. 'Its Suzy, she has breast cancer' I mean what the fook.... why, how, when, just no. With the statistics stacked against us - half of us are likely to get cancer at some stage in our life. I just don't think i was expecting it to be this soon. Suzy shut down to allow herself time to comprehend her diagnosis. Stage 2 - lymph nodes to be removed and a mastectomy. Wow - the universe has decided to flip our world upside down again without warning, yet all we have done is be there. Shoulder to shoulder, matter of fact and honest. The rest of us all chipped in to buy a bracelet for Suzy to wear to know we are all here for her - she hasn't taken it off since. Life is not going to be easy from now on for any of us and i think we are all thinking about mortality a little bit more. Our parents are at an age where ill health will take its toll, which makes Suzy's diagnosis a bitter pill to swallow. Recently Suzy revisited Braino's grave just to reminisce. Life eventually goes full circle something that we all have to come to terms with. But knowing i have girls beside me who have been there through all of my toughest days for the past 30 years, i know the next thirty years will continue to bring everything i dreamed my friends would when i was 12.
Eternally grateful to my tribe Suzy, Becky, Sue, Andrea and Laura. I love you all.
Love Gianna x
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