My best friend Lara and I regularly catch up with an old manager of ours. She was the first person I told I was pregnant with Emmi all those years ago as I valued her advice and guidance so much. Since then we have remained close friends and love to meet up for food and drinks and put the worlds to right. A few hours is never enough, but is lovely to discuss what we have all been up to.
To add some context Tina was the owner of a place called Lunaland. The first soft play area to open in the Forest of Dean in 1998. I spent a weeks work experience there and was asked to work their part time after that. I eventually became the assistant manager there until I had Emmi, when Lara too over from me. Tina always stayed in touch after I worked for her on and off for 5 years, with my eldest 3 all attending there for nursery and afterschool club. Tina was a shrewd business woman who worked bloody hard to make Lunaland the huge success it was. I learnt so much from her and am eternally grateful that she is a part of my life. A woman I have the utmost respect for.
When do we go from falling over - to having a fall?
We really do end up chatting about everything, families, renovation work, conspiracy theories, politics, royal family and the media. All whilst sat on the balcony of The Royal Hotel in Ross-on-Wye, what's not to love about the beautiful sunset whilst enjoying a gin and tonic? ( I told you there would be plenty of photos of sunsets!)
We started talking about when we refer to older people as having a fall instead of falling over. At what age does it change? Its strange to consider isn't it? I mean I described that my mum (66) has a weakness in her ankle after she fell over walking, yet I referred to my step dad (78) as having a fall whilst on holiday! Tina wants to remain falling over as it keeps her young. To 'have a fall' - in her mind at least - would suggest she is old. Something she is keen not be be referred to as just yet!
Clickbait press
We swiftly moved on to what we are currently watching on Netflix and I have just finishing watching the Harry and Megan story which I believe they were right to do what they did. Its awful the control the media has over us at the moment to which we all agreed. Just need to think about what is happening to Phillip Schofield at the moment. You cannot tell me he is the only person to have had a fling with a colloeague at work? If the person he has had a fling with had been female there would certainly not have been the fuss about it like there is. Not only that all those other famous people putting the boot in and having their five pennies worth - where was their balls to stand up when Phillip was allegedly so horrible to wards them? How fickle is this industry that they are so quick to stab a colleague in the back. Look at how Caroline Flack was persecuted by the press for having a drunken scuffle with her boyfriend - who didnt even want to press charges - but the pressure from the media meant the CPS thrived on the publicity of it all. Its appalling how the press get away with it, how they incite such hatred. Why is there not a good news paper that shares happy truthful stories?
Politics or bullshit?
We also spoke about the state of politics in this country and how we cannot trust any of them. We thought back to 1997 when Tony Blair came in as Prime Minister. At the time I was naively aware of politics. My Grandad was a strong Labour supporter yet my mum and dad were both Conservative supporters. So at 16 I stayed up to watch the results come in and Tony Blairs New Labour were what the country had voted on. We discussed how there isn't anyone of the stature that Tony Blair was for us - the voting public to believe in. That as soon as a new government is voted in everything changes and goes back full circle (something I have been reading about). Its interesting that in all of our work lives things always revert back to how they had been in the past. Names of government organisations, the re-centralising of departments to gain better control. We are all a little concerned for the future of politics in this country in that we are unable to find a true leader and role model to guide us.
Families and ACEs
All of us work within organisations linked with children, plus our own children and grandchildren. Tina explained how she is extra careful with her grand children in ensuring they are not going to come to harm. Her little grandson had got hold of her secateurs recently even though she had put them up out of reach - or so she thought! Its funny how we act differently though. Like i said with my Older 3 i was rather firm and strict with regards to their routine yet the little 2 i am 'yeah what ever'. Emmi also commented that i gave her 'the mum voice' the other day? What even is the mum voice? Emmi was rather taken aback by it!
We were also concerned for the impact on children the decisions made by social care and judges. How they determine whether a child should go into care or remain with parents and often the adverse effects it has on a child to remain with the family when social care have siad it would be detrimental to the child. Very often it depends on the decision of someone who has no actual knowledge of a child and how bad the circumstances have been. In my previous job I saw some pretty awful things and dealt with some bad parenting yet the system never helped these families. These children were just stuck on the cycle of emotional abuse and neglect, the parents stuck in a rut of poor decision making. The services available just don't seem to support these families ( something I am determined to change) and there still seems to be a huge stigma around social care involvement.
Local childcare provision
As we had all worked together some years ago in providing child care in this area I was keen to ask Tina how she made it a success. I currently have to commute 20 miles every day to where i work in the nearest city. I therefore have to leave at 6.45 to get to work in good time. There can be issues on the main trunk road from my house to the city which often leads to me being cut off and a diversion of over miles! I asked the question where is there good nursery/wrap around childcare provision with the Forest of Dean. The answer - There isn't! There is no facility that i can drop my children off at 7am for breakfast club and nursery and for them to collect my children from school and offer afterschool club provision. Without family to help i would not be able to do the job i am doing at the moment. This then has a knock on effect for many parents who therefore can only work within the local area during school time only because of having no facility to provide childcare. This then leads to low aspirations as they are limited to what is available. Low paid jobs and poor childcare provision. The answer - allow mums to return to being the home maker and actually be there and present for their children or the government ploughs in a substantial amount of money into childcare that it is an appealing career for people to go into. As Tina said, Lunaland was the best as she only accepted the best. The staff wanted to work there and worked hard for her. the expectations were high and parents knew that and wanted their children to go there. They offered what nobody else did, it worked and was a massive success. Unfortunately the people that Tina sold it to made a right pigs ear of it and it closed 18 months later.
Its concerning that the choices for childcare in the Forest of Dean - I am sure we are not alone - are so limited that parents cannot commute to get good jobs and will have to loo elsewhere to live.
It is my dream..........
To have my own Lunaland to provide childcare and parenting support in the Forest of Dean. Somewhere for mums to seek advice and guidance on parenting. It is the hardest job in the world being a parent. I am just glad I have the support of inspirational women like Lara and Tina that I can turn to for support, share good times, good food and laughs with. Until the next night out....
Love Gianna x
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