The Final Goodbye......

At the end of August Rubys place of work decided to close for good. Ruby had spent 2 and a half years there completing her apprenticeship in catering. Working really hard and enjoying learning new cooking skills. She knew this day was coming but had not made up her mind what to do. Travelling had always been on her agenda and the pub closing was a blessing in disguise. Just a few months early a friend of Rich's had visited us from New Zealand as he often does when he returns to the UK. Always trying to tempt us to going out to see him!

Whilst he was enjoying a cup of English tea, him and Rich facetimed Ruby. Glenn spun the line to her as he does with me - 'Just tell me your flight number and I will sort the rest' and the rest is literally history!

When the pub eventually closed, Ruby set about looking into getting a visa. Ticking boxes and jumping through hoops. She made all the online enquiries. Filling in forms, making calls, booking appointments. She arranged her own transport into London for her medical appointment. Completed her police check form. Made up a spreadsheet of costings, sold her car to ensure she had the optimum amount of money in the bank should anything go wrong. She really was amazing, far more independent than I had ever given her credit for

Decisions, decisions

On speaking with Glenn, Ruby decided on a 3 year working Visa. This would then enable her to work and set up home there until she makes her mind up whether to apply for permanent residency. Glenn and his family have been amazing. Ruby has slotted right in with their family dynamics. She now has an adopted family that consists of a sister and younger brother. Just like home. She has settled into her current job as a commis chef at Bracu in Auckland. Earning her own money to fund her travelling plans. Working at Bracu has made Ruby decide that perhaps this industry isn't really where she wants to spend the rest of her life. However she is truly grateful that it has given her the experience and allowed her to travel to the other side of the world and make her dreams come true. Which was what we discussed when she left school - that training as a chef can get her a well paid job anywhere in the world, whereas A levels would not provide that - another good decision that was made.

Difficult choices

Once Ruby's Visa application was successful we set about looking at flights! Well that was a mammoth task in itself. Why so many options, which way to travel, where to lay over, how long to lay over for. My god it was a mindfield. Especially considering she is only 18 and travelling alone! So we sat down and discussed the options. It was pretty much go East - its foreign and you gain time, go West - its English but you lose time! So we decided on a layover in America, just so Ruby could read the English signs and speak to people in English (now lets not forget I am a Bumpkin, I over think things massively and of course I appreciate most countries speak English and will have signage and announcements in English, but this is my baby girl and I worry about the stupidest of things!) Then the choices were which airport - East coast, West coast. one short flight one longer flight or two equal flights!! Yeah you thought it was an easy click and book!!! Not me. I need informed choices before pressing the confirm button!

So we eventually settled for equal fights to LA, with a 2 hour layover. Two eleven hour flights. We booked the flights on the 11th October to travel on the 28th! We had two weeks to squeeze in some last minute bucket list things to do!

The long goodbye....

It was awful. I mean it's like knowing that something bad is going to happen but its going to be amazing for someone else... odd to explain, I guess it is the epitome of bittersweet. You know this day is coming, you don't want it to, but you have to be brave. This whole time I had been really positive and all most forcing Ruby to book it all but on the inside my stomach was churning and heart was breaking. We kept busy, walked up May Hill to watch the sun rise. Had a bottomless brunch at Bolters, tracked planes across the sky above as they flew off into the sunset on their way to America. Cooked a Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, and walked to watch the sunset at the end of my road. Then Saturday 28th October arrived. I can't really recall the morning, just her dad arriving to my house to pick me up. Can't even recall who sat where, We arrived at the airport watching the huge jumbo jets land a weird fascination that myself, Ruby and Marnie are all obsessed with. We got on the shuttle bus and into the terminal. Ruby checked in her luggage, then we went up to the pub that was on the first floor. I couldn't eat, my stomach was in knots and I was struggling to hold back the tears, vividly reliving those final moments now my stomach is turning and tears welling up. We played cards to pass the time away - one of those moments in time that will stay with me forever. As the time got closer to us saying our final goodbyes the tears began rolling down my face. Ruby and I walked to the toilet, as we came back to our seats I held her arm, felt her skin, smelt her hair. We left the pub and walked the short distance to the security checks. The song playing that will forever stay with me - One last time again fate played it for me! We held each other and had one last photo together and watched her go through to the departure lounge.

Mamma Mia broken

We got back to the car and exited the car park. I sopped, snot and all. The whole way home. It was horrendous. I couldn't speak. Numb. All the way home was Mamma Mia soundtrack playing. I can't say I am a big fan of Mumma Mia, but I am outnumbered - Ruby loves it and has passed her love for it on to the little two, so I am forced to endure it. But since that long journey home it no longer has the desired effect of transporting me to a sunny greek island, instead its of heartbreak of the grief kind. Something that I don't want to go through again. Whilst I appreciate its an amazing time for Ruby and I wouldn't want her to have known how much I was breaking inside. As a mother that is our role, to prepare our children for the world. Allowing them to live the life we didn't, wanting the best for them. No matter the pain it causes ourselves. We protect them from the bad and encourage the good, the amazing.

Time flies

Here we are nearly four months and the first Christmas has passed, the pain is a lot better now. We regularly facetime and message. Now we have gotten used to the time difference. Ruby updates us with a monthly newsletter full of tales and photos of the fantastic time she is having. I know when she is travelling as she goes quiet. Glenn and Sue - her adoptive host family have given her lots of sound advice and have been absolutely amazing with her. They help her to plan her travels and have encouraged her so much which has boosted her confidence even more. As Emmi said before she left, Ruby has a New Zealand confidence now which is amazing.

This beautiful, quiet, thoughtful little girl has flourished into this fearless, confident young woman with the world as her oyster. I am incredibly proud of the battle Ruby has won to be where she is now. 

One of the awesome sunsets Ruby has had the opportunity to witness